Heaven Forbid
by grimmkittylove
Summary: Hermione Granger is a successful Charm Inventor and acts like she's been living up the single life. So how did she end up crying her heart out on Sirius Black's living room couch? One-shot.


Heaven Forbid

**Heaven Forbid**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of it and I never will (unless I learn that for some reason I'm JK Rowling's heir… which won't happen).

**AN**: This was inspired by "Heaven Forbid" by the Fray (hence the title). Pairing is Sirius/Hermione, with Ron/Lavender, Neville/Luna, and Harry/Ginny in the background. Definitely AU, as Sirius never died… and is somehow not twenty years older than Hermione…

.-:-.

Twenty years, it's breaking you down

Now that you understand there's no one around

Take a breath. Just take a seat

You're falling apart and tearing at the seams

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why

Hold on tight and wait for tomorrow

You'll be all right

It' on your face, is it on your mind?

Would you care to build a house of your own?

How much longer? How long can you wait?

It's like you wanted to go and give yourself away.

It feels good

Is that reason enough for you?

.-:-.

Sirius Black was not easily surprised. As an Auror, he couldn't be, because it could cost him his life. But what he found when he returned home that night surprised, shocked, and slightly frightened him. Hermione Granger, brains and heart of the Golden Trio, Charms Innovator extraordinaire of the century, and his close friend, was curled up on his couch, sobbing and clutching a pillow as if her life depended on it.

Not exactly a scene he was used to.

As soon as the shock wore off, the confusion set in. He had no idea what to do with the mess of a girl in front of him. Neo-Death Eaters, he could handle. Crying women, not so. She showed no sign of stopping any time soon, and he realized with horror that he was going to have to do something.

Hesitantly, carefully, all the while praying that he wouldn't upset her further, Sirius inched his way over to the couch and sat down on the cushion next to her. Hermione didn't respond at all. Emboldened slightly by his success, he reached out to touch her shoulder.

Before he knew it, Hermione had thrown herself into his lap, her arms around his neck and her head on his shoulder as she sobbed into his shirt. He stiffened momentarily, relaxing when he realized that he didn't need to fight her off. Awkwardly putting his arms around her, Sirius held on tight.

Sirius wasn't sure how long they sat there, but eventually her tears dried, her breathing slowed, and she began snoring softly. He chuckled, gently easing her off the couch and standing, ending up holding her like she was a sleeping child, waiting to be carried up to her bedroom. A soft smile on his face, the Auror carried his charge up to her old bedroom, tucked her into bed, and left.

.-:-.

It was nearly five forty-five in the morning when Hermione woke up in a somewhat familiar bed that wasn't her own. She tossed to covers off, rolled out of the bed, and took a look around. Then she remembered the events of the evening before.

She reddened, even though she was alone. Hopefully Sirius would still be sound asleep so she could sneak down the stairs and out the door without being confronted about her actions.

The brunette cautiously eased the door open and looked both ways before entering the hallway. She took a deep breath and exhaled quietly, then resumed her sneaking towards the stairs. Every one of her senses was working overtime, and even her breathing seemed loud enough to wake up the whole neighborhood. She nearly screamed when the stair beneath her squeaked loudly and obnoxiously, but froze, heart pounding and every inch of her praying that Sirius hadn't heard it. After she calmed a bit, the witch continued down, the rest of the wooden boards thankfully staying silent.

When she reached the bottom, Hermione peeked into the kitchen. When she saw Sirius looking amusedly back at her, she couldn't stifle her shriek.

"What are you doing up?" she demanded, putting her hands to her hips. "Do you have to go to work today?"

Her friend just tilted his head to the side, a playful expression on his face. "It's Sunday, love. Unlike you, Miss Workaholic, I get Sundays off."

"Oh."

"Since you're up, why don't you sit down for a minute? There's coffee. And you can tell me why I nearly had a heart attack when I got home last night and found you on my couch." He raised an eyebrow.

"I really should go-"

"And scare poor Ginny out of her mind when you Floo in at five A.M.? I don't think she'd appreciate it. Come on, the coffee's still hot, and your chair's open." She sighed, bit her lip, and then made her way over to sit across from him. Sirius grinned and patted her hand before standing and grabbing a mug off the counter, them making his way to the coffeepot.

"That's my girl." Hermione grimaced. Sirius grinned. "So," he asked as he began to pour the hot black liquid into her mug, "Exactly who wasn't home and forced you to come snivel on my couch, since you would never come here first."

"Actually I did," she muttered as he sat back down and handed her the cup. "I don't know why, but Number Twelve is one of the few places I feel like I'm really… home, I guess."

"I'm glad, then," he said sincerely. "Now, what made you come in the first place?"

Hermione sighed and ran her hand through her unruly hair, which had only tamed slightly over the years. "I got an invitation to my cousin Myra's wedding. She wants me to be her maid of honor."

"And…?"

Hermione stared down into the steaming depths of her coffee, her gaze never leaving the drink as she began to speak. "…And I realized that I was the only person in my group of friends who doesn't have someone. Harry and Ginny, Ron and Lavender, Neville and Luna. Almost thirty-five years old and I haven't had a steady relationship since I was nineteen. When I got that letter, it reminded me that I'm never going to be the one walking down that isle trying to not to cry from sheer happiness. I won't be the one chasing little toddlers around, trying to get them to keep their clothes on. I'll never be the teary-eyed mum waving her kids off to their first year of Hogwarts. Hell, I'll probably die alone in a cold, white hospital bed, with no one allowed in to see me because I'll have no official spouse or family in the Wizarding world.

"Everyone I know has found their second half. You can see it when Neville and Luna look at each other, when Ron pokes Lavender in the side, when Harry just randomly takes Ginny's hand. They're whole. And I never will be."

"Always a bridesmaid, never a bride," Sirius murmured to himself. Then, so she could hear him, "You're not the only one, Hermione." She looked up with a skeptical look on her face.

"Name one person we know who isn't involved in a romantic relationship," she challenged.

The older wizard pretended to think for a moments, scratching exaggeratedly at his chin. "Hmmm, I don't know… me?"

Hermione gaped at him. "What? I thought- blonde witch- erm, Amber- what?"

"Yet another one-night stand Harry happened to walk in on, remember?"

"Well, he said he'd seen her with you since then…" Hermione mumbled, blushing furiously.

" 'Mione, darling, there are many, many blonde witches in the world. Several of whom look very similar to each other," Sirius smirked. "Besides, that was nearly a year ago, love. I've had other things on my mind…"

"So there really is no one special in your life right now?" Hermione asked, intrigued. "I never pegged you as one to stay single for long."

Her friend stared at her seriously. "I never intended to, but the one I want, I'll never have." Hermione looked away frowning, trying to figure out his logic.

"Why not? Is she married, dead, not interested?"

"No, but she's very close to a dear friend of mine, quite a bit younger than me, and my friend would probably take it very badly," Sirius answered. "I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship, so I'm not going to do anything about it."

"Who is she, Sirius?" Hermione asked softly.

He grimaced and shook his head. "That I can't tell you, love." The brunette sighed, and looked down at her watch.

"Good God, I have to be at work in fifteen minutes!" Hermione shrieked, leaping up from her chair. "I'm so sorry Sirius, but I have to go. Thank you so much for listening, the coffee, everything. I'll see you soon, I promise!" With that, she gave him a peck on the cheek, ran out of the kitchen and Flooed away, leaving him stunned.

After she was gone, Sirius raised a hand to his cheek, touching the spot where she'd kissed him. _…And that's why I couldn't tell you, 'Mione._

.-:-.

Months passed, and Hermione found herself in the kitchen of Number Twelve more often than her own. If she had a bad day, she didn't go back to her flat to struggle with it alone, she went to Sirius and talked over a cup of coffee. He was always home, it seemed, and it was a great comfort to her to know that he'd be there when she needed him.

And then, she met Jason Waterman.

It seemed like he was perfect. With short, dark brown hair and dark green eyes, he was a living embodiment of a calm, collected, and down-to-earth businessman. The best part? He seemed to absolutely adore her.

When Hermione expressed all of this to Sirius, he laughed and shooed her off to find Ginny, saying that he was a guy and therefore didn't want to hear about how wonderful another member of a male species was, from a female's point of view. Hermione had raised an eyebrow but left anyways.

Gradually, her visits lessened, and when she did come, she wouldn't meet his gaze. He'd ask how things with Jason were, and she'd give a little laugh that didn't reach her eyes, then remind him that he didn't want to hear about it. Her friend saw right through it.

"Are you happy, Hermione?" he asked once, looking her straight in the eyes.

"Yes, very," she replied, although her eyes expressed a bit of hesitation. "I know you don't want details, so I'll just say he's good to me. But…" she trailed off, her next few words incomprehensible as she muttered into her coffee before taking a sip.

"What was that, love?" Sirius asked, leaning in closer. "I didn't quite catch that last bit."

"He doesn't like me coming to see you," she mumbled, slightly louder. "I guess he's afraid I'll cheat on him or something, but he just doesn't understand."

His heart broke at the look on her face. She looked so confused and hurt that it made him want to strangle the one who'd done it to her, even more than he had before.

"He doesn't trust me… I've told him time and time that it's just coffee, that you're in love with someone else, that you help keep me sane, but he seems to think that he should be able to do all that for me, that I shouldn't need anyone else. It's a bit frightening… we've only been dating a couple months and he's already talking about moving in together. I just don't know."

"Isn't this what you wanted, though?" Sirius asked, the words coming out a bit more harshly than he intended them to. "Someone to shower you with affection, hang on your every word, never leave your side…"

"Well, yeah, but it just seems so odd…" she sighed. "Maybe I'm just overreacting."

"I don't know, 'Mione."

"Hey, have you gotten any further with that girl of yours?" she asked, making him jump a bit.

"Ah, no. Remember, my friend-"

"Talk to him then. God, Sirius! You of all people deserve to be happy. Go talk to that friend right now! I mean it! I'll leave, and you go work it out with whoever it is. Go!" She stood up, walked over to his chair, pulled him out, and dragged him over to the fireplace. Sirius turned around and stared at his friend pleadingly. Hermione stared right back. With a sigh, he took some Floo powder, stepped into the fireplace, and threw it down, muttering, "Harry Potter's flat."

.-:-.

"Let me get this straight," Harry said, his eyes closed as he leaned back in his kitchen chair. "You're in love with my best friend, and have had many different opportunities to tell me so, but you never have. You only came today because she told you to, and she didn't realize it was her you've been talking about, but she's now seriously dating another guy." Sirius nodded, looking slightly afraid. Harry laughed humorlessly. "You, my friend, have dug your own grave."

The older man frowned. "So… what do you think about it, Harry?"

"What, you're asking my permission?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't particularly like it, Sirius. She's with someone else right now. Someone who makes her happy."

"We don't know that he does," Sirius muttered mutinously. "She seemed a bit freaked out today when she was talking about him."

Harry ignored him. "If she was _your_ sister, would you want your best friend to confess his undying love to her whilst she was still in a relationship? Didn't think so."

"I've pretty much told her," the other man said to himself. "She just hasn't really figured it out yet."

"I don't know Sirius. You're both adults. You two figure it out. You don't need my permission, you know. Just be careful," he added seriously. "I'm not the only one who would end up in Azkaban for attempted murder if she got hurt."

"Yeah, I know," Sirius replied absently. "So you really don't mind?"

"I do mind, Sirius. I think it's wrong for you to try and get between her and him. But I have no say in it. I can just warn you. And besides," Harry smiled sardonically, "I have a feeling that somehow, Jason Waterman's not going to last in her life for very long. She's going to get hurt, but you'd better not be the reason."

.-:-.

As it turned out, Harry's prediction came true a lot faster than Sirius could have imagined. He'd been home for fifteen minutes after a long day of work, when he heard a knock on the door. Frowning, he stood up and went to answer it. The knocks grew in frequency and Sirius found himself walking faster. When he finally flung open the door, Hermione threw herself into his arms, pressing her face into his shoulder and crying silently. The black-haired Auror gently guided her into the house and shut the door.

When they got to the kitchen, Hermione sank into her usual chair and rested her head on her arms. Sirius busied himself with making coffee, trying to ignore the tap-dance that his insides had decided to perform. The witch at the table didn't move until her friend sat the mug down in front of her and even then wouldn't look at him.

"I did it again, didn't I?" she asked quietly. "How's the heart doing?" Sirius chuckled.

"Pretty good. It's finally gotten used to pretty young witches randomly throwing themselves on me."

"That's good. I suppose you'd like to know why I'm here?" Sirius nodded. Hermione sighed and looked out the window. "I had a horrid fight with Jason." He tensed.

"Go on."

"I didn't want to go to Ginny's. She's a dear, but-"

He cut her off, and brought her face around so that she was looking him in the eye. "What happened, Hermione?"

She flinched. "He brought up moving in together again. I said I'd rather wait, and we got into this huge row. He accused me of cheating on him with you and Harry and Ron, all of you, mind, and then I said that if he couldn't trust me, then I couldn't stay with him. We yelled some more, and he tried to hit me."

"I'll kill him." Sirius knew his face was probably quite frightening, but he honestly didn't care. All he could think about was getting his hands on the bastard. "Goddamnit, Hermione, I'll fucking kill him." He stood up and went to storm out, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.

"No, Sirius. He missed. I actually did more damage… I broke his nose." He stared at her.

"Are you serious?"

She smiled weakly. "No, I think you are, but yes, I did in fact break his nose. He shouted some things, I shouted back, and then I came here."

"Why?"

Hermione smiled slightly. "You're here. This house is more like home than anywhere else in the world. I'm beginning to wonder if there was any truth at all to what Jason kept saying."

"What was he saying?"

Hermione hesitated, her brown eyes wide and a bit fearful. "That I actually.. that I'm… that I'm actuallyinlovewithyouandthat'swhyIdon'twanttomoveinwithhim.." She looked down quickly.

His heart stopped, then began beating twice as fast as it had been before. "Come again?"

She took a deep breath. "He thinks I'm in love with you, and that's why I don't want to move in with him."

"And what do you think?" His eyes never left hers as she opened her mouth, then closed it again and shut her eyes.

"I think he's right," came her tiny whisper, and that was enough.

.:._Fin.:._


End file.
